Gemini Tingz #twofacedbitches

With my birthday coming up, I figured I would honor my lovely sign with a PERFECT stereotypical Gemini Thing.

What are Geminis known for?

Well besides being outgoing, creative, independent, funny, the life of the party, successful, beautiful, and the best sign ever.… 

Being **Two Faced**

Now, I am NOT agreeing with this shit at all because I like to think that I am pretty fucking real (most of the time), but I guess you could say I do have a couple “sides” of myself when it comes to certain topics. 

One of these topics being.. (my favorite and least favorite thing in the world)..

MEN.

When it comes to men I can be pretty fucking all over the place to be totally honest.

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WHY? Well… because I am a fucking female, my hormones are constantly running around, and I sometimes don’t really know how the fuck to feel.

So let me try to break this down into something that makes SOME sort of sense.

There are multiple sides to the Alissa brain when it comes to a mans place in her life.

Side #1: The Side Everyone Sees
-The I DONT NEED NO MAN I AM A BAD BITCH side

This is the side that I really try to broadcast out into the world not only to help inspire other females, but to also inspire myself because I know that the more I say it the more I can speak it into existence. 
This side of me sees a man as an addition in my life, NOT a necessity. If he can’t treat me the way that I want.. Boi bye because I got my bag, life, and mind set and I am NOT putting up with childish bullshit games from a little boy who don’t know what he wants.

But… there is another side to all of this too. 

Side #2: The Side Some People See
-The I don’t need him but I do want him 

This is the little hidden side that only a select portion of individuals get the chance to see. This is the part of me that thinks about the fact that regardless of some shitty treatment and maybe some lies n stuff… I still keep the man around because I am CHOOSING to keep him around. Whether I say it’s for only sex, or because I deny the fact that I am really not getting valued like I deserve, I will vocalize the fact that I am in complete control on when this man is in my life or not.. And that I can gladly cut them out whenever I would like. I mean.. That is what I tell people…

Buuuut theres oneeee more side (gemini tingz I guess..)

Side #3: The Side No One Sees
-The Weak Spot

This is the side that absolutamente NO ONE ever sees and I am even ashamed to admit it because this side is not ALWAYS there.. But makes an appearance every now and again. This is the side of me that forgets everything… my self worth, my value, what I deserve… I forget ME and completely and TOTALLY become consumed in the love I possess for that certain individual. 

It is actually so hard to put this into words because honestly it is something that I can barely wrap my brain around to begin with. How can I go from a boss ass bitch who don’t give a fuck if he looks in her direction… to someone who literally chases the man who is running away from her? 

Yeah.. it amazes me too. 

Call it lack of self control, call it dumb… But I call it weak. 

And I will admit it… I am weak when it comes to certain things. Everyone has a weakness and is weak in certain areas. Hence why we are FUCKING humans and everyone has their talents that are different from those of other mfs. 

However… it is HOW you handle these weaknesses and how you try to improve them that really tells you what kind of person you are.

What I have learned in life is that everytime you fix a weakness you become a better person. But… with every solution to one problem comes ANOTHER problem. Now, this isn’t supposed to sound pessimistic (although it may seem that way), because problems aren’t necessarily bad things.. contrary to popular belief. We are constantly evolving and growing as individuals and this is why we fix and have to refix ourselves as time goes on. Literally until the day we die, we will have something to work on within ourselves because life is ALWAYS changing, creating, and showing us new strengths in ourselves. BUUT it is also showing us new weaknesses.

Ask me a few years ago and I wouldn’t have realized that I had a my weak side when it came to men because I hadn’t experienced any sort of relationship with a man that would have caused me to bring out that side of me. (If that makes any sense AT ALL). 

With all that being said HOW do you really fix these weaknesses. 

Lemme try n explain this in a way that makes sense for everyone. 

When we go to the gym we start off very small and very weak. Lifting the 10 pounders and doing small sets. 
BUT as time goes on and you start to challenge yourself with heavier weights and bigger sets, you start to grow and become STRONGER. 

Time. 
Effort. 
Awareness. 

When you give it time, put in the work, and keep pushing yourself, you can literally create strength out of this weakness. 

I like using the gym as an example because no matter how long you go… for however many years, however many hours a day… you ALWAYS can make progress. There is always something more you can achieve and there is ALWAYS a new goal to be made.

This is precisely how life works. It is EXACTLY the same thing as the gym and progress made at the gym. 

Step 1: Find the weakness
Step 2: Improve the weakness
Step 3: Continue improving and growing 

How can you try to apply this in your life though? What does lifting heavier weights have anything to do with men and my weak side when it comes to them?

Well.. it’s all about mindset. Once you adapt a certain mindset in GENERAL, you can apply that shit to literally every aspect of your life.

The best mindset to bring into your life is as follows -- You are never fucking done. 

Why? 
Because there is always something new to improve on and there is always a weakness that can be turned into a strength. 

Adapt that shit into your life and you will never be satisfied… but the best part is you will never stop growing. 

Wow… I really went off on a mini fucking tangent for a second, but the point being…

We all have our weak points, for me, I discovered this new one. 

But after analyzing who I want to be and how I want to be as a woman in life (as well in a relationship), I am ACTIVELY making the effort to completely cut out that third side.. The weak side.. And remembering that I can LITERALLY be the person that I want to be. 

I control my behavior.
I control my emotions.
I control how I see myself in the lives of other people. 

Once I realized that (which was literally I wanna say 24 hour ago), I realized that I HAVE to improve not only my mindset, but behaviors. 

So yeah.. I sound like a fucking idiot for literally contradicting myself completely. And yeah… I look hella fucking weak and vunerable admitting that to the public. BUT fuck it.

It’s fucking real and we all have shit that we don’t want to admit about ourselves. But the ones who can own their weaknesses and flaws and try to make themselves better are the real fucking badasses. 

Oh and maybe that little stereotype about geminis being two faced is kinda sorta true… but we still are the best so idgaf ;)