F*ck The Rules

F*CK THE RULES
Growing up in contemporary United States can be a great thing, we have this whole “freedom of speech” thing and lots of fatty food. As a teen, my great dream was to grow up and move to…. Avon, CT and become a school teacher. Yeah… extravagant right? Born and raised in Connecticut and my big dream was to stay here for my whole life and take an occasional cruise to the islands on an AMERICAN cruise line. Sounds very “Make America Great Again” if you ask me. 
​So, I got myself into one of the best teaching schools,

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 lived with my parents, and oh did I mention, I stayed my dumb ass in the lovely state of Connecticut. Adventurous lady over here..
But who knew that one year into my college experience I would make a life changing decision and find completely new goals, inspirations, and even a new home.

The fall semester of 2019 I scheduled a semester abroad in the amazing country of Spain to learn the Spanish language, the subject I was set to teach for the rest of my life. Upon arrival, the last thing I was expecting was to fall in love with the country. Let alone the culture. Being an American in Europe was an unforgettable experience. Not only did I have to adjust to life in a new country, I had to completely forget all of the “norms” that I had been taught for the past 19 years of my life. This “feeling out of place” feeling was something that truly changed my life. 

Traveling out of the country is a great experience, but living out of the country is a sensation that I can't explain. I can honestly say that it was the most mind-opening and unique experience I will ever have in my lifetime. Not only did I learn about how Spaniards live in their day-to-day lives (what they eat, what music do they listen to, how they dress, what their night life is like, ect.), but I learned more about the way they think too. I learned about how they are welcoming and loving to everyone, how everyone is family. They are willing to help strangers and are open to learning about different people. They like being loud and have very little “verguenza” (they rarely get shy). Overall, they are just happy people and insanely open to new things, which is a sight that was rare for a little ol’ Connecticut girl to come across. 

Life for me has always been the same… the hustle bustle of going from school, to a sport, then home or bouncing between work and school, I became accustomed to only seeing my family in passing, and not saying hi to my neighbors when I went to get the mail. Life for me was always about MY things... my school, my work, and my goals. Kinda sad life if you ask me. 

All this changed after seeing this new lifestyle. I started to realize that there actually are so many different ways to live life, not just my “work, school, work, school” life. For example, Spaniards always have Sundays off of work for their family time, they go out for drinks on a Monday night to celebrate another week of life, they party until 9 o’clock in the morning…. they really ENJOY all of the perks of life and take advantage being happy. To me, this type of lifestyle was incredibly fascinating. Many people may call it a lazy life, or think it is a waste of time to be friendly to everyone you meet, but for me this is true happiness. Working to live, not survive... Saying hi to strangers to simply put a smile on their face… going out on a Monday with friends because WE FREAKIN CAN. To me, that life is pure and real. 

Unfortunately, after three months of traveling Europe and living like an “espanola,” I had to bring that a$$ back to the U.S. to continue my “School, Work, Sleep,” routine. However, this time, I decided to start living life the way that I wanted. I hustled hard and saved up enough money to bring myself back to Spain for a second semester in my hometown of Salamanca, Spain, this time, with different intentions. After coming back to the United States in 2018 with a whole new mindset, I realized the possibilities that I had career-wise. I had been so brainwashed by our societal norms that I did not realize the ability to LIVE, rather than SURVIVE. So, I decided to head back to my favorite place. 

After hustling for 9 months straight, I returned to my favorite place a year later with my open-mind ready to experience this greatness again. 

This time around I was really embracing my pre-existent knowledge of the Spanish culture to better enhance the quality of my living abroad experience. So, I made friends with more Spanish students, went out to the more local bars and restaurants, and most importantly asked questions AND LISTENED. I’m not talking about listening to music or sitting in class “listening” to the professors. I REALLY listened, mindfully listened. I made sure to always be completely present when talking to anyone. With this habit of truly comprehending and taking in the information from all these new people, I really started to discover how the mindset is in Europe. 

They are free. 

Free from the pressures of “norms”
Free from the struggles of work stress
Free from society telling them what to do

Simply, they do whatever the f*ck they want to do. 

If they want to dance, scream, and sing in the middle of the Plaza Mayor dressed up as bananas, they will. If they want to stumble around the streets drunk as hell until sunrise, they will. If they want to have sexy photoshoots in the middle of the busiest streets of Salamanca, they will. 
The best part is that they will not even question themselves. They are fully themselves all the time, without a care of what society will think of them. 

This is the lifestyle and mindset that I embraced while being over there the second time. Not only did I figure out how to be happy alone, I figured out how to be comfortable with who I am as a person and how to go against the grain (if I want to), because it is okay to not be understood by the masses.

I am who I am, I like what I like, and I do what I do. I’m fed up with having to live in this society the way that we were “taught” to live in it. If I’m not hurting anyone, why should I care how I am putting myself out there? As long as I am happy with the choices I am making and with who I AM, then f*ck society and f*ck what they think about me.

You think I’m an attention whore? 
You think I’m too “out there”?
You think I am unprofessional?

Well, I could completely care less about how society perceives me. Those norms developed were created by the mass media and the masses. We are trained from a young age to conform to the way society tells us to live. We are constantly shown images and taught lifestyles that revolve around simple lifestyles involving family-life, work, and the occasional vacation to the Bahamas when applicable. I will not let this conditioning form my way of life, especially now knowing how many different lifestyles and mindsets there are in the real world. 

Just a few words of advice: 
The world is not just your everyday life in the United States. Your life can be a vacation everyday if you make it that way. You CAN make a living off of your passion. When your life is guided by happiness rather than money, you will bring yourself so much more success. 

Most importantly, you do not have to live the way you think you do. Get the F OUT of this country and see how other people are living outside of this little bubble. Don’t let the masses determine how you think and perceive life when you haven’t seen even the slightest bit of possibilities out there.

After traveling around a different continent, I realized that this mindset that we have been raised to follow is NOT the only way to think. There are millions of ways to think, understand, and LIVE. Our lives are what we make them and our minds are meant for us to create them.

So basically what I’m trying to say is that… as Joji says… “FUCK THE RULES” that you are used to and live your life however the fuck you want to.