Cuff It

After some serious heartbreak and with some seriously AWFUL sex… I have come to the conclusion that sex is strictly supposed to be cuffed.
Well handcuffs… too.

But I’m referring to being IN A RELATIONSHIP before fuckin. 

Let’s get controversial over here for a sec.. And let me spit some opinions real quick about a topic that is very, very dear to my heart. 

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Pre. Relationship. Sex.

Ain’t nothin more toxic and fucking stupid than pre-relationship sex. 
I’m sorry… I SAID IT. 

Before you all get your little panties in a twist and get all defensive… I am not saying that you need to wait to be in a long-ass, committed relationship before fuckin.. Because I know that most of us horny 20 something year olds cannot keep it contained that long. 
However, I am saying that there needs to be an established vibe and a semi-strong connection before introducing sex into a relationship. 

Why? 

Well… the answer is simple. Sex complicates. Always. 

Once sex is introduced into the relationship, there is a maintenance that is required that was not required before. The only way to explain this is through my definition of sex.

The dictionary definition of sex is a sexual act, “especially including intercourse.” 

However, MY definition goes much deeper. 
Sex is a unity, a connection between not only two bodies, but two souls. This is a part of yourself that you are sharing with someone else, you are allowing someone to access that side of yourself that no one else can see… literally no one. This is a level of intimacy that can only be reached with the people that you ALLOW to access it (with a few exceptions, but we will not get into that topic just yet). 

Now, with that being said… I will make a very, VERY controversial statement.

If sex happens right away, the relationship will not last.

Yes, yes… I know that this cannot be applied to EVERYONE because there are some people who start off as fuck buddies and then end up married with two kids, a black lab puppy, and a three door garage attached to a raised ranch in the suburbs. 
However, I would say that the healthiest relationships don’t start with sexual tension, they start with an emotional connection. 

AKA, Vibes. 

When there is a vibe, you feel it. You can feel the connection with the person, the ability to be 100% you 100% of the time… you CARE about them and actually enjoy hearing about their life/interests blah blah blah…

You can talk for hours and not want to stop.
You can be in their presence without getting bored.

You FEEL not only them, but their soul. 

From here, sex can be introduced, but not as a way to just “get off,” but a way to enhance the connection between the two individuals.

Sex, in this society, is used as a prop. We use it to fulfill our physical needs and our emotional need to feel aesthetically desired. Social media portrays the biggest icons with BODIES rather than SOULS. We strive for a certain body type, but not a certain mind… which is why sex is thought of as something just strictly physical. 

But shit… they are all so damn wrong. 

In a relationship, sex is something that is supposed to strengthen a connection… not CREATE one. Because.. Let me tell you, a relationship that was created on the platform of sex is not going to last as long as a relationship that was created with vibes and an emotional attraction. When sex is used as a tool to assist in the combo of two souls, not only does the sex FEEL better and FEEL more intimate, but the relationship grows too. Sex allows the two partners to see each other and connect with each other in a way that they can’t with anyone else. Therefore, creating an even stronger bond between the two. And to be totally honest… with the right person, it’s worth the wait.