Ch(EAT)ing (MY ASS)

Ladies and Gents… I’m calling all of the people who have been cheated on.

Yes you… emotional cheating still counts, come on over here… I got some expert advice for you.

Feeling sad? Betrayed? Sick to your stomach? Hurt?

Trust me, I know those feelings all too well. 

You feel like you were not enough for someone, that you were missing something that they wanted. You are questioning what you were lacking to satisfy this person, whether it be physically or emotionally. For some reason you are feeling like the person to blame was YOU rather than the one who hurt you. 

You come up with every excuse in the book to give them a “pass” for lying and going behind your back when in reality… you did nothing wrong.

You were enough.
You gave them everything and more.

But they took that for granted. 
With this being a fresh wound for me, I am sure you can feel my emotions at an all time high. 

Luckily, I am coming from a place of healing and I am able to write about this with a new perspective…. But trust me… when this shit happened to me… there was NO sign of sunlight. I felt betrayed and sad and lonely and for lack of a better term… I felt ike complete shit. 

The funny part is no matter how much damage they do to you, they will never understand the type of pain they caused you. They are LITERALLY incapable of comprehending the type of hurt they gave you… because trust me hunnies.. If they knew what it felt like, they WOULDN’T have done it. 

Quick lil story from my experience. I had a GREAT boyfriend. When I say great.. I mean AMAZING! Literally kissed the ground I walked on. 
Like everyone, I, for some reason, lost my romantic feelings for him. Instead of communicating that, I (immaturely) left him with no reason why, no explanation, and not a care in the fucking world. 

I did not understand what it must have felt like for him.

Why? 

Because I didn’t give a fuck. 
And that is so insanely awful to say, but I will admit it. I didn’t care, just like everyone else who cheats/leaves/betrays with no explanation. 

I was the bad guy before, I’ll admit it. But trust me… I got my payback REAAL good.

It’s crazy how life works because I reached out to this ex-boyfriend of mine and I randomly apologized for all the hell I put him through and for how I made him feel. 

“You did not deserve that, and I’m so sorry” to be exact.

Luckily, he is a forgiving type of dude and we are able to be friends and have a really good non-romantic relationship.

Point being… they (cheaters/people who leave)  don’t understand. They are selfish. They simply don’t care about your feelings and how you may be struggling. 

Soooooooo…
Some of you may ask.. Well Alissa.. How, oh how, can I fix this hurt?

The answer is simple.

Become friends with the person they were cheating on you with.

HAHAHAH I am totally kidding (even though I did do that myself… and shit was pretty fucking cool and I got a bomb ass friend out of it.. xoxo love you Maddy).

But forreal though.. I wish I had a solution for you. 
The only thing that I can really say is that you need to be patient with yourself and your healing process. Allow yourself to simply be completely and totally miserable. Allow yourself to try and get a shit ton of physical attention from other people to make you feel worthy. Allow ourself to eat as much ice cream as you want.

But only for a week. After that week is up, be ALONE. 

Remember that you DO NOT need a single person on this Earth. You are choosing to have people around. 

I know that none of this makes sense to you and it feels like no one gets you when you are going through that heartbreak and that betrayal… but ladies and gents… that shit GETS. EASIER.

I can tell you from experience, we are going on about a month now of healing and I am in better shape mentally than I have been in a VERY long time. You really realize how toxic a mother fucker was for you when you start taking control of your life and start giving yourself time for YOU. 

I know some people probably don’t relate because… hell, I couldn’t understand this feeling until 21 years into my lifetime. But, I do know there are people reading who have cheated.

All I’m sayin… if you are thinking about cheating or hiding shit from the person you "love," Eat My Ass… and not in the fun kinda way.